Today was sooo not the wakeup call I was hoping for. I awoke around 7:30 in the morning convinced it was raining in my room (needless to say I am none too bright first thing in the morning). I tried to go back to sleep, but I could HEAR rain and there was nothing coming down outside. After a few head shakes I heard some commotion in the hallway. Knowing it was my landlord’s day off and that they usually sleep as long as the baby lets them, I was surprised enough to investigate.
IT WAS RAINING! In the hallway! Water was pouring from the ceiling (guess I am not so dumb in the morning). Turns out it was toilet water from the lady upstairs. She overflowed her toilet and didn’t have the courtesy to come downstairs and let us know. Two buckets were filled from the overflow (which inconveniently flooded the apartment below us) and several mops were squeezed and the paint on the walls ran and towels were thrown straight into the washer and overall it was yucky.
After the interior rain I soooo went back to sleep for a bit. I had plans to spend most of the day with Ini today since he is moving to Queens tomorrow (bummer) and I wanted to be well rested for whatever we ended up doing. When got together we decided to go to dinner at a local place called Dallas BBQ. Supposedly they have ‘great’ bar-b-que, but it is sooo not Hog Wild. I ate a spinach salad with rotisserie chicken and raisins and walnuts. It wasn’t good. This is mainly because I despise spinach, but since it had been a while since my tummy ate anything greener that iceberg lettuce, I knew I needed substantial leafy things. Unfortunately, Ini knows I dislike spinach and this became a point of a mild contention. I don’t know why I do things I don’t like. I don’t know why I make decisions without thinking them through. I don’t know why I dislike onions (and won’t even nibble the vile little things). I have never had anyone challenge me to think about these things. It’s just how I have always done things, so why ponder it. If one keeps on doing things ‘just because’ eventually you find yourself on a moderately slippery slope. If I don’t ever stop to think about my decision making process and become deliberate in my choices and decision process, I will always keep doing the same things and getting the same results. I have a wonderful person who is willing to confront me about how I go about life and what is my answer? I throw a fit, cry and walk away. Brilliant and mature, I am a winner sometimes.
I know change is hard, but I think this process is worth it. I do not want to keep getting the same results. I do not want to end up looking back at my life when I am old and knowing I always took the easy path and never challenged myself out of my comfort zone; never tried to be a better person. I know I can physically move out of my comfort zone (hello, I am in Manhattan), but emotionally and mentally I stay pretty consistent. I need to fix this or else, like Ini said to me tonight, I am not going to get as much out of this experience/opportunity as I could have. From here on, here comes the hard.
Lord give me strength, help me to be willing to change my heart.
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